1. The tweet about Sugar Daddies.
My friends and I could quite easily have acquired sugar daddies while in Lagos but we did not want to spend your school fees— Abike (@Jollz) September 17, 2015
2. The tweet about Lagos traffic.
In Lagos, you’ll be in traffic for 3 hours, only to reach front and see what’s causing traffic is garden egg.— Sir Vage; Baby Maker (@iamsupervillain) October 2, 2015
3. The tweet about having an ugly bae.
Your ugly bae cheats on you and you are just like "Edakun see somebody I was pitying o"— The Goddess. (@Brendalishus) September 7, 2015
4. The tweet about NEPA.
Nigerian version of "make hay while the sun shines" is "iron your clothes immediately nepa brings light"— Orobokibo (@Sick_Sage) August 16, 2014
5. The tweet about African parents.
How to be an African parent: 1 Shout. 2 Blame everyone at home but yourself. 3 Never apologize to your kids. 4 Shout. 5 Keep shouting.— É (@CoolNerd_) April 5, 2015
6. The tweet about the tower of Babel.
One minute at Babel every one is speaking Hebrew "lay the brick here" next thing "ni hao" "je ne comprendre pas" "ki ni weyrey n so "— Mr Dodo (@dodoshyne) September 15, 2015
7. The tweet about Bella Naija weddings.
Bella Naija will have you thinking your gonna marry one oil tycoon, when it's really Yemi from marketing.— Fola Sofuyi (@Fola_Sofuyi) August 13, 2015
8. The tweet about Suya and Newspapers.
Why is Suya sold at night? Because Newspapers are sold during the day Contact me for other answers to life's difficult questions.— Chief Talk and Do (@NEPA_Lagos) July 26, 2015
9. The tweet about kidnappers.
Kidnappers hand me phone to speak to parents.. Mum: Hello.. Me: Mummy? Mum: Why didn't you wash your plates before you left this morning?— L (@iKillCuriosity) July 11, 2015
10. The tweet about 2 daddies.
When your mom borrows your phone to call your father and dials the wrong daddy😭— nnèbaby (@entiCyn) June 15, 2015
11. The tweet about the pain of childbirth.
Ran my gen all night only to wake up to find out there's been light since last night. Don't talk to me about how painful childbirth is.— Sir Vage; Baby Maker (@iamsupervillain) June 11, 2015
12. The tweet about cheating.
So annoying when you find out your better half is cheating, you're just there like me that I didn't get caught, do I have 2 heads— Irebae (@KingAdunni) April 22, 2015
13. The tweet about superstitions.
Nigerians so superstitious. Cabs will refuse to stop just cos you're wearing all black, and it's night, and you're carrying a cutlass…— Orobokibo (@Sick_Sage) February 3, 2015
14. The tweet about Nigerian mothers.
*phone rings* "Hey mom, I'm kinda busy right now" "That's funny cos I wasn't too busy to give birth to you 28 years ago" 😂😩— Omo Pastor. (@TheAdenike) January 28, 2015
15. The tweet about meeting Aliko Dangote.
I don't think I can ever meet Dangote and have a 5 minute chat with him without the words "Sir, hep me" slipping out my mouth.— Sgt. Afonja (@Punthief) January 13, 2015
16. The tweet about getting married.
I can't stand these grown men thinking they're too young for marriage, smh Adam was only 7 days old when he married Eve— King Chy (@flyChy) January 7, 2015
17. The tweet about wedding aso-ebi.
300k asoebi means I've bought shares in your marriage. I'll be expecting quarterly reports.— Morningstar (@TheBlackHermit) October 24, 2014
18. The tweet about trust issues.
Therapist:"When did your trust issues start sir?" Me:"I was 2 & my dad told me to go & put on my slippers if I wanted to follow him out…"— Sgt. Afonja (@Punthief) November 14, 2014
19. The tweet about shopping.
When you ask how much something is and it's expensive you pretend you're interested even though spiritually you're already on the bus home— Shanaynay (@Kahduna) December 24, 2014
20. The tweet about Instagram chefs.
Instagram chefs won't just say Eba and okra, they be like parboiled cassava grains with finesse chopped okra and bells peppers.— consigliere (@moyodre1) October 16, 2014
21. The tweet about Nigerian customer service.
I hope those Nigerians in customer service know that when their prayers reach Heaven, they also meet attendants gisting and watching Afmag.— WALE LAWAL (@WalleLawal) December 10, 2014
22. The tweet about job Interviews.
Me: I'm Nigerian White interviewer: Ohhh Me: plis dun do it White interviewer: Yuno my father volunteered in Keny… Me: oh mah god 😪— OC (@geraldOC_) October 10, 2015
23. The tweet about the Choc boys.
Imagine watching the choc boys on a 3D Samsung TV. You'll see HD ice prince. You'l see HD Jesse Jags. You'l see HDMI.— Young Wildling (@TheFunnycator) June 14, 2015
24. The tweet about candy crush.
Oh Hi Bunmi who refused to kiss me during command in JSS1. Now sending me candy crush requests on facebook. How the mighty have fallen.😌— Leo B Dasilva Jnr (@SirLeoBDasilva) September 22, 2015
25. The tweet about Nigerian driving instructors.
Credit: zikoko.comNigerian driving instructor: "Oya Come, Come" "Oya CUT YOUR HAND, CUT YOUR HAND" "CUT IT FULL"— Gambino. (@Dotun__A).
